Count Me Out bannerFree Trade Makes No Census
Uncle Sam cartoon
The Census is going to the cats!


Here is an interesting report we received from a CountMeOut viewer:

---------------------------

I have a cat. Cats like to sit on paper or magazines. In fact my cat will automatically lie on a magazine or newspaper put on the floor or on the table.

Cats also vomit up hair balls routinely. My cat does this is on a regular basis and is well trained that, if you catch him early enough and put a piece of newspaper in front of him, he will be sick on that.

Supposing that your cat puked on the census return which is entirely possible in this household (and might even be encouraged). You wipe the resulting mess off and, after carrying out some of the other tactics discussed in CountMeOut.ca, you send the result to the Minister of Industry Tony Clement but enclose it in plastic wrap or a zip loc bag with a note containing words to the effect "that I apologize for the messy state of the return but my cat vomited on it. I am sure that my cat is healthy but, just to be on the safe side, I am enclosing the return in plastic and suggest that you take appropriate precautionary measures."

If they send you another census form, the cat gets that one also.

You may not have a cat but several large spoonfuls of canned pea soup or cream of mushroom soup creates much the same effect. Let it remain on the paper for half an hour so it soaks in well and then wipe off loosely.

Of couse, that brings up the possibility of a dog taking action -- larger animal, larger mess.

---------------------------

One side effect of www.CountMeOut.ca which has been particularly gratifying to us is how the Lockheed Martin-tainted census has brought together Canadians from coast to coast in a cooperative dialogue on how to practise Census minimum cooperation most effectively. We deeply appreciate all the helpful suggestions that our viewers have so selflessly (and enthusiastically) contributed.


return to fun options page

Home Minimum Cooperation Contact Us